self-love, self-compassion and saying "no". Setting healthy boundaries.

self-love, self-compassion and saying "no".

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Setting Healthy boundaries


!. Allow yourself some self-love, self compassion and know it’s okay to say no.

Many people think that they don’t deserve to set boundaries. We think we should automatically accept anyone who wants to befriend us on Facebook or go out of our way to help a colleague of a colleague with a recommendation on LinkedIn. Give yourself the permission to set boundaries and say no, I have set up a Facebook fan page for anyone to follow me on there and I can interact with them in my own time on my own terms. A lot of people were upset with me some of the younger adults with 22q took offense when I told them no I don't have time to talk about 22q as a on call therapist for free at any given hour of the day. I have commitments to my family, husband, self care used to take a back burner instead of eating and working out the way I needed to prevent gasteroparies flair ups I would sit for hours sometimes while husband was at work and I had nothing to do other then house work I felt that was my purpose was to be on the other end to help others to know they are not alone. I did mange to set the page up with some ruffled feathers because friends didn't want to take the time to read my blog posts which is just same things I would tell any other person about what's going on if they were to ask. It was easier to ween out who was there for me vers who was there to watch me. I also discovered who to keep on my personal fb page and who get's to hang out on the fan page. If they were on my personal page but didn't go to the fan page I knew then I didn't have their full support and backed off from them. I wanted people around who cheered me on in all I do.

2. Consider your purpose.

what helps when setting boundaries is thinking ahead about how you’d like to use social media. Ask yourself: What purpose does social media serve for me?

Are you using Facebook to keep in touch with friends, to network professionally or both? “What would make you feel safe in terms of how many people you allow [as your friends]? Do you want an open or closed profile? [Are you going to] not put up much personal information and limit access?”

Remember that if you’ve got 800 friends on Facebook — many of whom, it’s safe to say, are acquaintances, at best — all 800 are privy to your personal facts. And that can be risky, So consider what kinds of information you want out there. I learned that the hard way and took a long social media break to work on my own recovery and healing. It's also less stress and less of other people issues that are not mine but now I can say okay call me text me or email me and I can get back to you at such and such time. This in turn allowed me to have more meaningful connections vers the annoying small chat that I can't stand.

3. Set boundaries surrounding time.

Let’s face it: Sites like Facebook can become a black hole, sucking your time into its abyss — if you let them. It’s easy to feel powerless, especially if you’re using social media sites professionally and want to build a supportive circle. This one took the first 3 years of blogging to learn the hard way. I had a wordpress hack and lots all of those followers I didn't get many of them back but they truly didn't support me they were only out for themselves and wanted to have people follow them so they did the I'll do this because I have to beat the numbers game.

I learn that the smaller more engaging audience the more powerful my message got across

The Internet is like a moving target, and with that comes the expectation that we need to respond to people’s comments right away, return email within a day or even hours and stay plugged in so we’re continuously in the know. I felt like there was a target on my back like I was being watched and not very supported it sucked.

But remember that you do have a choice, and “there is no requirement, Rather, figure out what works best for you. Blocking out 15 minutes a day for catching up on comments and your community can still help you make and maintain connections — without feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I now take a half hour in the am before everyone wakes up to posts on social media and by lunch time I return the comments with a more loving positive attitude which reflects and shows

4.Interacting with others

Interacting online can get tricky. tips specifically for interpersonal communication.

Take things slow.

Relationships on the Internet move fast. And we’re not just talking romantic relationships, but interactions of all kinds. When you’re chatting away on your computer in the comfort of home (or the nearest Starbucks), particularly with like-minded people, it feels like you know them intimately. But take your time.

It takes about six to nine months to get to know someone’s character, Since people usually want to present themselves in a positive light — as Chris Rock famously joked, “When you meet someone for the first time, you don’t meet them, you meet their representative” — it takes time to see their true personality. That’s when you see red flags or inconsistencies in their character.

In online interactions, you might get to know the person faster, but either way, “it’s generally better to take it more slowly and approach [your relationships] in a thoughtful and careful way.” Give yourself time to get to know the person before revealing too much about yourself, she added.

Unless of course you decided to join a church and take a 12 step CR class but I'll open up a bit about that story for another time. That might be a posts for offline communication

Do you have any advice for interacting online? I would love to hear your ideas in the comments below