What I wish I knew before I found out I had 22q
It been ages since I did a rant blog post!
I call this what I wish I knew about 22q because even after all these year efforts of research is still unknown of how this affects us who have 22q.
There can be a bit of variability between each of the conditions. Such as 22q11.2 deletion can be a trisomy or there can be chd or no chd. You can have thyroid issues or no thyroid issues. You can have learning speech hearing heart issues or none at all. I wish I knew and understood that no two people with this disorder are affected by it in the exact same way no matter how hard I searched for answers and asked others who have it or have kids with it I always found out there are some similar characteristics but not all of the exact same symptoms and even if we had the same symptoms as someone else there are for different reasons.
I knew what Digeorge syndrome was but I did not understand velocardiofacial syndrome until a few years afterward I did not understand the basics of genetic 101 I can now probably teach a seminar class on it.
I did not know there is an entire country who wants to wipe out rare genetic disorders and completely get rid of anyone who is a big quirky odd or different with how God formed them. I did not understand why parents were shocked when I could raise my own family when I told them. I did not understand the hatred of people who have this disorder but yet claim their love for their own child they too will have a child who grows up one day to be an adult like myself. I also did not think parents would never want their 30 year old live on their own and be functional adults in the real world I didn't know why parents were so over protective until I had my own child. I will not limit my daughter like some of the parents I know and have ran into but instead, encourage her where she needs encouragement and help her by nurturing her independence no matter how stubborn or strong willed my redhead has become at 10 years old. I am so thankful for her stubbornness because that is what got her through all those years of multiple doctors visits her leg braces and her dental work. That what pushed us past our limited views of others to help us reach our potential we ran a 5k together not many normies can say they did that.
I understand now the fear is the unknown and the hate is not hated but it is grief it a loss of life they thought they were going to have. I get it I have my own daughter who has it. I too experience all of the awful mixed up emotional feelings that come from having this disorder but I did not allow my self to stay stuck. I educated myself and I am educating others so they know what to expect once knowing what to expect they can be hopeful that is the worst case or they can hope for the best case but either way there is hope after knowing what they are getting into.
Feeling pretty lost scared and confused is a typical day to day functional normal for us none normies who are trying to figure life out. Adjusting to routines and schedules is a challenge trying to manage just a two bedroom apartment can be a chore for someone like myself but here I am doing it basically wiping my own butt. I am shocked that others are shocked that I too can wipe my own butt and look after myself and not only look after myself but after others as well. I am a wife mom and step mom some define what I do a success
I am not impressed one bit by being someone inspiration simply because I am stand to own my own two feet and get up each day and do things that I have to do. I get some people can't I really do get that but to label that all of us with 22q can't do that is unfair and it is already setting more limits on the limits that are already in places. Screw the limits set by others is what I wish I knew!
I have anxiety and Adhd and ptsd but most days are good days medications are little because after all these years I have coping skills and things set in place I know that will help. such as sticky notes and how to guides I use a binder system to keep track of everything. I also have a binder for everything I really wish I knew about this binder system that I use. It would have made high school so much easier.
I wish my passing out spells I had in high school were vaggo vessel and that I just had to take this pill for and it would all go away. It does not go away with just a pill I wish it did.
It can be scary to hear your child has a genetic disorder. It can be scarier to know you also have the disorder what is even scarier is knowing you have a disorder and having a child any how because hey life happens and birth control is only 99.9 effective.
I see these worst case scenarios in support groups and such and watch others just stare and hear crickets when I write a post about the good stuff but when I write about the bad everyone comments. I wish I knew I was only a relatable human being by sharing about my stomach filar ups. I would have written a blog post and shared pictures of every time I picked and hugged the toilet bowl I wish I knew you all would cheer me on for that. I wish I knew what I needed to do to be part of a support group to be a team player rather then having to create a blog and website and from my own tribe. I wish there was a tribe for me where I could fit in but it is what it is. I wish I knew life is what it is before life got all messy by my trying to fix it and help others.
I wish I knew how to handle the stress from the nonstop specialist and pt and ot appointments we had to attend and that I had to attend while I was pregnant and after. If I did I would not have ended up in a 72 hour phyc hold with an over dose of Ambien just by mistakenly trying to simply sleep because my brain wouldn't shut down. I wish I knew how to write about that moment to help others to prevent others from going down that path that I did. I wish I knew about 22q.
I wish I knew my brother who passed away from having 22q at 6 years old. I wish I knew what I outlived him. I wish I knew why God takes the little child and not me. I wish I didn't have a second hospital trip for a medication over dose because I didn't know how to process grief I didn't know how to deal with my father who disowned me who has 22q as well. I wish I didn't learn these coping skills from my step mother who enjoys attention seeking behavior choices and takes tynole by the bottles when life gets too shitty for her. I wish I understood mental illness when I was a teen.
I wish I didn't have to have a complete mental break down after I had my daughter when she was 1 and another when she was 2. I wish I knew I had ptsd do to the major abuse and neglect from my parents. I really wish I didn't have to hold all of this in until I was 25 years old. I am 34 years old and I really have only enjoyed living life since that last trip to the mental hospital. I am recovered by the grace of God I understand why God allows bad stuff to happen to good people I didn't know then I wish I knew that too why God allowed 22q.
I know now I know from the bible study's from the medication from the teachings from all the years of hard work in therapy. I wish I could pass all of this knowledge on to others so hey don't have to feel so crappy about having 22q or living with someone who has 22q but what I know is people are going to do think act and feel how they want and there is nothing I can do to change that. I also wish I knew I would make and lose friends who have 222q based of what others perceived about me. I wish I knew all of this about 22q
I wish I didn't see this from a parents perspective and also somebody that suffers from it. I wish I knew all of this about 22q.
I wish I knew that insurance did not cover anything related to my daughters health condition and that having children's special health was useless because Medicaid will cover generics of what she needs. I wish ssi knew what 22q digeorge syndrome was and that it not going to get healed because she can speak. I wish I didn't have to appeal ssi or have to deal with ssi every time we tuned around but only one of us can work because I have no ablity to stay at a full tme job with the ups and downs of my own illness. I wish I knew there was more support.
I wish I knew all of this about 22q.
What do you wish you knew about 22q ?